Memories of Kevin McGowan delivered by his brother, Vince, on the occasion of his
Memorial Service at the Newman-Benson Chapel at Lyngblomsten Care Center, St. Paul, MN.
Saturday, June 11, 2022
I want to share some thoughts and a few memories of Kevin. I'm Vince and Kevin and I were the closest in age of any of the siblings. For those unfamiliar with our family - there were 9 of us, 3 groups of 3. Kevin was the middle child of the middle 3. I was the older one, 6 weeks short of a year older. Sean, who we lost in 2007, was just over one year younger than Kev.
As you can imagine, a family of 9 kids can really fill up a home. When it became necessary while growing up in Appleton, the 3 of us ended up sharing a small basement bedroom. And as you could expect of three young brothers, there were squabbles. With a bunk bed and a single bed in the room, it required a rotating schedule to keep the peace. But the top bunk made a nice launching pad to the single bed when mom wasn’t around.
A regular family Sunday morning in Appleton consisted of occupying the first pew for Mass which sometimes was followed by a trip for treats at the local soda fount. Often the younger ones would linger at the magazine and comic rack. One Sunday after getting home mom received a call from the store asking if we were missing anyone. It seems a 2 1/2 year old Kevin had been left behind engrossed in a comic book. It had apparently been my job to see he made it to the car.
When the family moved to St. Paul - this was our neighborhood, we lived just a couple of blocks from here - for us middle 3 it was high school years. And though the older three were off to college, we still had to share bedrooms, but for Kev and I it was just the 2 us...in another small room with a bunk bed. I think I was able to claim seniority and retained the bottom bunk.
There were still spats of course, but for the most part we got along. Kev and I attended the same school for his first 2 years of high school. The first year it was a long city bus ride away with several blocks of waking on either end which was not so fun during the winter months. On snow days the bus was often full when we got on and had to stand most of the way. The second year I had a newly minted license and was allowed to own a car and drive us to school. Turned it was an unreliable clunker which often meant the bus again. (Kevin later transferred to the neighborhood high school and the result was all 3 of the middle 3 graduated from 3 different high schools.)
Kev and I had some adventures over the years. In 1965 we saw the Beatles in concert with our older brothers. In 1969 the month before I entered the Army and Kev was to start college at the University of Minnesota the 2 of us traveled to California, visiting San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego, only to run out of money and get stranded in Las Vegas. Dad wasn't too happy when we called home collect to ask if he would wire money for plane tickets. Then in 1972 we attended a Rolling Stones concert the night after Kev turned 21, 50 years ago next week. (Coincidently, this was also the night of the Watergate break-in.)
Our family preserves a set of what we call ‘McGowanisms’ that are silly remarks that are repeated ad nauseum, much to the consternation of our spouses, and that only make sense if you know the backstory. Kevin provided one of the more memorable McGowanisms though I don’t recall what year. After listenting to his favorite team on the radio (which we did, long before nearly every game is televised like today), the Twins, blow a lead late in a game he thought they should have won. His comment: “Worthless Twins can’t even win a game”. So anytime the Twins lose a game, McGowans repeat…and are reminded of Kevin.
Kev and I had some common interests in our careers – both working with computers and technologies. I remember the first time connecting to the internet was with Kevin in the basement of a friend’s house where he was renting an apartment. Don’t know who remembers those dialup modems where you had to place the landline phone in the cup holders. This was long before there were apps called web browsers.
I know Kev was a proud father of Jon and Michelle. And I still have the email of when he told the family about Michelle expecting a baby in which he said - "I'm excited as well to becoming a Grandpa." And that would be to Gavin.
But what I really want to stress about Kevin is what kind of a person he really was - someone I was proud of for the way he was able to live. You may have heard of his most recent health issue that claimed his life - the aggressive skin cancer. But he dealt with many more health issues throughout most of his life.
Sean and I often felt it unfair that Dad exempted Kev from the lawn mowing chore due to the hay fever he suffered as a child. He also had heart complications that limited his ability to participate in sports and other physical activities. By sometime in his 30s it was determined he was in the onset of Retinitis Pigmentosa that would eventually claim his vision. But he didn’t let that get him down - he remained independent, learned to use braille and worked to help others dealing with the disability. He traveled independently around the country for various conferences and participated in a bowling league for the blind.
Then there were the 2 kidney transplants preceded by dialysis and accompanied by a couple bouts of pancreatitis. One kidney courageously came from our sister Maureen, and one came from my son-in-law who died unexpectedly much too young.
But here's the thing – I bring that up not to express that he needed our sympathy but instead to stress his strength of character. Thru all of that I never heard Kevin complain or be angry that he was given a raw deal in life. He was nearly always upbeat. He was a brother I was proud of and I will miss greatly.
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